Being hurt can’t harm you !!

Being hurt can’t harm you !!

I’ve been exploring all the ways I spring into action to avoid feeling pain. Not just pain in general, but these very specific painful feelings I’ve spent my whole life keeping at bay.

The addictions, codependent demands, contractions in my body, controlling behaviours—all designed to wiggle away from ‘unfeelable feelings’.

I’m terrified of feeling hurt.

On the somatic level, the twisting and bracing I need to do internally to avoid these feelings takes a lot of effort and result in feeling quite uncomfortable within myself as well as vulnerable to being triggered into those feelings by situations and relationships. This actually furthers my belief that I can’t handle the pain and I wind up needing to control others in my life so that I don’t have to feel these unbearable feelings.

Lately, I’ve been sitting with them more. Inviting them in. Telling them “do your worst”.

I will set the timer, airplane my phone and sit on the meditation cushion. I relax my defences against those feelings. I breathe into and welcome them.

When the timer gongs, after tolerating the discomfort of all these horrible feelings… I remain… unharmed. Who knew??

I read recently, “being hurt can’t harm you”

It was a revelation as I realized I have been acting my whole life as if being hurt could harm me. Perhaps that was true when I was young.

Beyond intense, old, painful feelings, life situations that are scary and new and carry certain risks (emotionally) seem impossible when I buy into the belief that being hurt will cause me harm.

The courage to feel, take risks and expand what I’m willing to tolerate feeling within myself creates an ever so slightly new and evolving reality I get to live in.

Slowly, thus I grow !!

Sending love and light to those this touches,

Best,

Dov