‘Being with’

I’ve spent most of my life avoiding myself.

‘Avoiding’ is the rejection of the feelings and sensations that actually exist within my body. Either because they are too uncomfortable or painful.

‘Being with’ means keeping my attention fixed on myself and welcoming whatever I find there, however unpleasant. It is an act of compassion and courage.

I’ve spent considerable time distracting myself and the cost has been exhausting my energy and loosing touch with my gifts in life.

The paradigm shift from ‘solving’ feelings to ‘being with’ them is simple but radical.

This can be practiced at any point during the day.

When you catch yourself doom-scorlling, pause a second, close your eyes and ask yourself “is there something I’m avoiding feeling?”

When you get up in the morning feeling anxious, before grabbing your phone or your cup of coffee, pause a moment to ‘be with’ your anxiety, welcome it—even for just for 5 seconds. Try saying “bring it on” to yourself, or “do your worst”.

When difficult feelings arises as a result of the many setbacks in life, instead of deflecting or distracting, try focusing on the painful feeling, put your hands on where you feel it and just ‘be with’ it for as long as you can. It might even have something important to tell you.

We often divert our anger and frustrations which causes a buildup of stagnate energy and resentment—things aren’t allowed to be felt and processed.

The willingness to ‘be with’ my own feelings has brought deeper ground into myself. It has freed my energy from the internal war that rages when I avoid and bully myself to be different. I now have more space to move towards what I actually want in life.

‘Being with’ is a practice of radical self acceptance and it requires a little tolerance to master.